Okay, well I'm not loving the uber-personal turn the ol' blog has taken as of late. I guess I really needed to get some things off my chest, but it's still so raw. The reunion did end up going just fine. There were little pockets of discussions, questions, but no outright breakdowns. My dad ended up driving to my aunt's house, and that has been pretty difficult. Her beautiful house on the hill looks exactly the same except for the tarped and boarded back door. There is glass all over the deck where my cousin was shot- it hasn't been picked up. The Christmas tree is still up, lights are still strung around the deck. You can see a pair of her shoes on the railing and the grill is uncovered. It's like she went for a walk and is coming right back. I still can't understand why nothing looks aged even though it has all been exposed to the elements since November.
There are a lot of things we're never meant to know, and that's what I've been slowly starting to realize. We've got to keep moving forward knowing there is a plan, as difficult as it may be for us to understand in the present. So, I think I'm ready to lay this to rest instead of staring down infinite possibilities and questions; it's futile.
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