I think I'm hypersensitive because my family reunion is coming up, and this will be the first time I've seen anyone since Marianne and Scotty. I wonder how we're going to be. My family is exactly like me- loud, boisterous, tends to overdo it. I don't know how the "new" us will be. I think we're all asking ourselves the same things: Why? How does this happen? Our family? Them? Is it genetic? Was he truly crazy and we just didn't see it? Or what's deep and dark and hidden? Can it get to us, too?
The details are pretty hard to go through, and I've tried very hard to protect Tyler and Logan from knowing what happened. Tyler knows my aunt was killed, but he doesn't know any more than that. I'd like it to stay that way. But what if there something more we need to know?
Here's a link to a news story that came out soon after her death. Nothing is as surreal as seeing your own family on the news: http://www.wdtv.com/index.php/home/local-news/3925-first-on-5-news-update-son-accused-of-murdering-mother-killed-in-police-shootout
I feel like there are so many loose ends, and to this day, I have yet to dream about her. It's a very empty and foreboding feeling. I keep waiting. I did actually have a dream about Scotty- I was chasing him through a house trying to be calm and ask him questions. He wouldn't speak, only smile and move room to room.
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